Anger: Why Do I Get So Angry And What Does God Think?

“My dear brothers and sisters,

be quick to listen, slow to speak,

and slow to get angry.  Your anger can

never make things right in God’s sight.

(James 1:19-20)

Anger is NEVER pretty!

Why do some people get so angry?  What is anger?  Anger is really an emotional reaction to pride.  The offense of selfish pride is truly the root of anger.  In other words, anger is saying, “I am right, and you are wrong!  How dare you offend me!”  or “How dare you treat me like that or keep me waiting?  Do you know who I am?”  Even if you were the victim of a horrible act, like sexual, emotional and/or physical abuse, the core issue for your anger is still pride…. in essence, you are angry that these events happened to YOU!  So you are left with the question, “How can God let this happen to ME?”  And THAT, my brothers and sisters, is PRIDE.

And unfortunately, proud people seldom realize that pride is the problem.  So they are quick to get angry and make a fool of themselves.  Proverbs 29:23 states, “Pride ends in humiliation, while humility brings honor.”  Therefore, those who are more humble are not so easily offended and angered, which allows them to demonstrate Christ’s love, humility and forgiveness for others to follow.  Proverbs 19:11 tells us that “Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.”

Christians are supposed to be the ambassadors for Christ to show the world that we have been with Christ by how we walk.  As the old saying goes, “You have to walk the walk; not just talk the talk.”  Unfortunately, our actions as Christians are how others judge us.  If we profess our loyalty to our Lord and Savior, but act a fool when we lose our temper, it allows others to judge us as hypocrites (See my blog entry, “When Godly People Act Ungodly: Explaining the Hypocrisy of Christianity“).   “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.  Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:31-32)

As a child, I grew up with a father, who had a very short temper and a booming voice to match.  His pride was incredibly easy to offend and had almost no patience for anything or anyone that did not meet his expectations, which led to anger.  He scared me into living in fear and submission of him, with beatings that would far exceed the limits of today’s guidelines of child abuse.  To this day, those scars still penetrate my adult mind, occasionally creating a semi-paralysis and forcing me to avoid confrontation, even when it is justified.  However, as a young adult, those fears turned into bitterness and anger.  I wanted those who offended or hurt me to feel what I felt.  My pride wanted vengeance.  And getting angry made me feel temporarily powerful.  It momentarily hid from the world the scared little boy being scolded and punished by my father.  But God in His infinite mercy, who knew me when I was in my mother’s womb, kept me from following in my father’s footsteps as a man, husband, employee, son and father.  Somehow, God planted the seed in my mind to do everything in my power to not mimic my father’s rage. 

Praise the Lord for His mercy on me and my father, because due to my father’s near death experience more than 15 years ago, he has grown calmer and less easily angered.  I think my father has learned that God is in control of all things and we are insignificant compared to His awesome power.  As a result, my father has gained a marked amount of humility and patience.  Through forgiveness (See my bog entry, “Forgiveness: Loving the Unlovely“), understanding and mutual respect, my father and I now have a very close relationship.  And through our late night talks about Christ, I believe my father is saved.

So my brothers and sisters in Christ, I implore upon you to control your temper and work on your patience and forgiveness towards those who offend you.  Matthew 5:22 says, “If you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment.”  And Paul writes to the Christians in Rome explaining how Christians are to live in a fallen world.  Paul states,

“Never pay back evil for evil to anyone.  Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.  Do your part to live in peace with everyone, as much as possible.  Dear friends, never avenge yourselves.  Leave that to God.  For it is written, ‘I will take vengeance: I will repay those who deserve it,’ says the Lord.” (Romans 12:17-19)

Now I am not trying to say that I never get angry or fall into pride.  Of course, I do!  I am a sinner, who is weak, because of my flesh!  However, with these principles in mind and the thought of what Jesus sacrificed for my sins to make me righteous before God through the forgiveness of my sins, I am much quicker to hold back my anger and forgive.

Remember, when you are in a situation where you begin to lose your temper; learn to exercise patience and forgiveness.  Just as personally offensive you find someone else’s actions towards you that are causing you anger; your sin is equally, if not more, offensive in God’s eyes.  Yet, God has shown forgiveness to you through Christ!  You must show forgiveness to others and control your tongue and actions.  Just like anything else in life, the more you practice, the better you will become.  If you are saved, you are an heir to His Kingdom, which means you are royalty.  Therefore, you must always conduct yourself as a royal ambassador for Christ, so that others may follow.

In His Light,

Bro. Mackie